its been an age since i last posted, and a lot has been going on in the world of nathon. so let me fill you in. after my last posts i got a girl. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shes awsome!!. she means the world to me. i have fallen head, shoulders and knees let alone heels for this girl. shes my princess. and she just agreed to be my wife. so. I AM ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!
![36_2_27[1]](http://data2.blog.de/media/699/649699_88487b2340_s.gif)
the kanji means together.
just doing my bit to tell the whole world im happy
bye.
]]>I would like to once and for all make a statement about something that has been bothering me for a goodly while. Around new years upset a friend of my very badly. I didn’t know how until one of my other friends pointed the problem out, it appeared as though I was plagiarising his personal thoughts, something I assure him I had no intention of doing.... ever. I have since gotten rid of the said offending material because his was there first. I make a full penitence for any harm caused. And will forever be sorry for the hurt it might have caused. I only hope we can remain friends.
Sincerely
Nathon
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I dear readers have a job interview tomorrow.
Its at the local meat works, should be great. I decided to take a year off study and work my but off. I need the money really badly. I want to buy either a Honda cb 250 or a VTR 250 v2 twin sport. Very nice bikes. So ill have to save my ass of. Uni restarts in a week, kinda scared to see my friends again. Wronged a few of them and one is moving into my house, may end up regretting telling her that the room was available. Oh well life goes on eh. Really want this job; so keep all your fingers crossed
And in the words of Groucho marks
"I don’t want to belong to a club that would accept me as a member"
bye
I was recently going through some of my old things the other day and I came across an old paper clipping. It was a study from some science mob saying that its not wise to keep teddy bears in cots with your babies, as the fur in modern teddy’s collects dust and bacteria that can potentially cause your baby to become ill.
If you go down to the woods today....
You’re sure of a big surprise....
If you go down to the woods today....
You’re possibly going to die
Cause today’s the day
If ever there was
Today’s the day that you die because
Today’s the day the teddy bears spread there sick...ness
Scary stuff. 
Do you have a teddy?
good day all, well....i got drunk. again. shit. went out with a few of the rugby boys for a wee beverage, and had a few to many, a lot too many actualy. to be frank i got shit faced. not good, ended up in a punchup, some 18 yr old. not even sure why, cant actualy remember doing it but have been told i did, but i won so thats what counts. oh dear. should not be aloud to drink...ever. oh well. could have been worse i spose. any way, best be off to bed.
and in the words of ugly dave gray
"if ya nose runs and ya feet smell your upside down"
later
Today we continue our story on the fruitcake trapped in the land of pudding.
The fruitcake awoke to an eerie feeling. Like when you’re in a group of people and someone farts. He sat up rubbed the crumbs out of his eyes, burped, broke wind and took stock of himself. "Were in the name of walnuts am I" he muttered as he looked at his surroundings. Three walls were made of marzipan and one of musk sticks. "Shit, I’ve been nicked...again".
The mayor of mixedfruitberg was calmly sitting in his office when the phone rang. "Hello, oh its awake then, right, right ill just finish this deposition and be right there" he hung up the phone and turned back to his deposition. He had to retrieve this particular sheet of paper from the dustiest section of the storage room. "20 years, 20 years and it happens again when I’m in charge, soggy thing"
The mayor told himself under his breath "my father always warned me of it, could happen again he said, best to prevent it he said" the mayor signed the last page and collected his hot on the way out.
The fruitcake was sitting up trying to figure out how he had gone from Cindi cashews bedroom to the nick when the outer door was opened. A portly looking figure walked slowly in to the half light, "what’s this then" thought the fruit cake "bit of a fat fucker eh" he stood up and walked to the musk bars. "S'up" said the fruitcake. The mayor turned a slightly darker shade of tan and replied, "good morning...you". "Look Cindi told me she was 16 and any way I was only helping her out with her home work..."the fruit cake began "silence" yelled the mayor "you will be silent, I ask the questions here if you want to ask question you must first apply in writing." the fruit cake turned pale, "no I cant be, how could I, I was, but, why, tits" the fruit cake stammered as he realised what had happened. "What’s your name if you things have one?" inquired the mayor. "I’m Freddy,” answered the fruitcake "I’m Freddy...the only fruitcake in the land of pudding" and Freddy wept.
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folks on some good advice from a freind (thanks moon) i have made a bonni wee change in my life. i bought a dog! an 8 week old female pug dog to be precise. shes a dear little thing, likes to chew shit up and is already house trained! shes f
kin cool, (from now on will have to censa all my blogs as one of my freinds reads off a pc with filters on it). she will get under ya feet and you will invariably step on her at least once a day. stayed at my sisters house last night, 
she lives with her boyfreind, they only just moved in together last week and she was already talking about dumping him. i mean what the shat? they had a big fight when i was there (we were all drunk to) which is not cool, god i wish i could make her see what a fking dkhead shes being, selfish tart. any hoo ive got to get to bed and catch some 
qoutes qoutes ummm......oh got a good one
in the words of my grandma (and yes she did say this)
"shohn" (my fatheractualy spent and prononced john) "look at this girl shes got tits like an empty penny purse"
bye
I must say my piece and my piece must be said, first I hold no ill will against any one, (tho the Oliver comment kinda hurt) sindios, firefly, megs the neighbours chickens who keep invading my garden, no ill feelings. I’m not a monster who gets pissed for no reason, and had know intention of driving sindios and firefly apart, having said that said that I may have done a few things that weren’t thought out well, but tis not a crime. I do understand that different people want different things, some people (like me) are commitment people, date for a while move in together let’s get a dog people. Given that I’m only 21 this may seem a little strange but that’s just the way I am. Other people aren’t its that simple. There’s no point in getting angry over something that I cant change. I still love firefly and probably always will, but if you want different things there’s no point beating your head against a wall trying to change or change someone else. I don’t get mad when girls don’t want to date me, I can’t change their feelings, I have no control of them. So. Am sad that it turned out this way and hope we can stay friends, with everyone sindios, firefly even those blasted chickens (well.... maybe not the chickens) so. Will be sad......will brood for a while..........will put it behind me, I’m a big boy I can deal with it. If you guys don’t want to see me anymore that’s fine to, I understand, all I ask is that you speak your mind say what you feel and tell it like it is. I need to hear it like that because other wise I just don’t get the hint.
And in the words of Monty pythons
" A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut"
Bye
Recent events have got me thinking people. They have got me thinking that I am slowly becoming some sort of recluse. In previous years, and months even I would have enjoyed nothing more than going out and having fun with friends and family. But of late I find that leaving the sanctity of my humble abode is a chore not worth accomplishing. I fear that my long period of lethargic apathy may lead to a place I’m not entirely comfortable with. I do not wish to be some perverted hermit living in the slums and back woods of Australia, but I cannot get over that fact that people are arseholes. Everywhere I turn I see arseholes and pricks that cause me much distress and evoke desires of homicide and grievous bodily harm. It seems easier to avoid people then to deal with the daily pleasantries of life in the public. I am afraid for my sanity, as I have never been before folks. I am scared, alone and rapidly running out of options with which to deal with this problem. I ask you is this a symptom of a mind starved for to long of human contact, or are the majority of people in this world just shit? I fear it may be that I am just a self-indulgent twat pedalling useless and pointless drivel (because the internet really doesn’t have enough pointless drivel). Is he crazy you ask, well yes! We’re all a little crazy; we have to be I certainly can’t be the only one.
And if I am the only one......well
Bapabooi bapabooi Howard sterns penis bapabooi bapabooi
Today we will hear the story of a cake trapped in the land of pudding.
Our tale begins in the sleepy little place called mixedfruitberg, home to 12,200 puddings precisely. It’s a dry sort of place a bit like an English merchant bankers convention. Every thing in its proper place and everything accounted for. Down the main street, glazed cherry blvd there’s not a cashew nut out of place or a scruffy looking sultana to be seen anywhere. Its 4 in the morning and it is completely dark (the powers that be had a meeting and the majority voted to extinguish street lights after 11 to save money) no wind blows as it did not acquire the proper permit to blow after 7pm. suddenly a flash, a shriek, a bellowed oath and a small cake appeared on the street steaming slightly. At precisely 6:45 am the next morning, the wake up bell sounded and the town began the orderly procession to work. The town clock read 7:00 am on the dot (the towns committee requisitioned an atomic clock as they always keep perfect time) when the people of mixedfruitberg stepped out of their homes and froze. The sound of thunderous snoring and other bodily noises issued from what most dared not think in the early morning fog (the fog having pre booked and applied to appear at this time and date 3 months before handing in all forms in triplicate). The cake was aware of a strange noise kinda like the sound of a beater on low power, he lifted his head and uttered "fug orf we ya" and rolled over. Now mixedfruiteans, who are not normally accustomed to disorder and bad language (be it intelligible or not) where quite perturbed at this strange turn of events. Who was this?........ What was this?.........surly he doesn’t have the proper permit. Another tremendous snore rocked the onlookers as the strange object rolled on to its back (when I say back I mean the flattest part as he was completely cylindrical in shape) the mixedfruiteans looked appalled as they realised what this thing was. The mayor of mixedfruitberg (having won the right to be mayor by filling in all his standard bribe forms correctly) slowly walked out to the prostrate figure in the dustless main street (the dust, having made a rudimentary signing error on one of its permit forms was forbidden to work today). With a stick in his hand the mayor strode up to the cake in the street and poked him once quite hard in side, "I swear she was 16" moaned the cake and rolled away from the attack on his slumber. The mayor turned an interesting shade of orange (which is an amazing feat for a pudding) and walked back into his office muttering, "Where are those soggy arresting vagabond forms".
Tune in next time for the continued adventures of a cake trapped in the land of pudding.
And in the immortal words of Monty python
"Drop your panties sir William I cannot wait till lunch time"
Tell me people why is it so fucking hard to get ahead in life, its hard enough to keep above the surface let alone swim in the ocean of life without people bringing you down, you think with all the shit I’ve gone through in my life the great creator would give me a fucking break. "No fuck this guy he seems to be doing alright now root with his life a bit" bastard. Ill just have a running tally of my life so far, ok. I was born in Qld Australia, and moved up near rocky when I was little, I liked it there, it was nice I had friends.
From there I went south to the burnet, near Gayndah. Not so good, I started year 2 there, and was beaten up every day or so till we left when I was in grade 7, the worst time was when to footballers cornered me behind the scout hut and beat me into unconsciousness with a piece of 2x4, not good, I had concussion and had a week of school. From there the happy family moved to the south burnet close to Nanango. It took I week and I was being bullied again. From grade 8 till 12 I never went a day with out a bashing or general nastiness, some of the worse ones where getting knocked out in class with the teacher watching (I was told to get of the floor and stop making a scene) and being slammed head first into a brick wall. When I was 16 I joined the army cadets, later that year a got to watch helplessly as a good friend of mine drowned, he was resuscitated but died a week later in hospital, when I got back to school the main comment that people I new said to my face was that they wished a friend of theirs had died so they could have a week of school. I was in counselling for 6 months. That was 5 years ago, its taken me that long to get my life on track and figure out what I want except to not die a little every single day. But no, it’s just got to keep happening the shits just got to keep coming. Well fuck you very much.
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Fucking parents have been giving me the fucking shits. I just got my drivers license back and it took me 8 fucking days to find some fucking cunt who would fucking insure me. Having found one, the parents are saying when and were I can drive, fuck off. Giving me the shits.
I’m out.
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well folks im in the lovely town of maryborough. im spending the last few days before christmas at my friend cliffs house before we go home. its been fun so far. we got here monday night and got monumentally smashed
and played pool all night. it was great. i've been waking up at around noon for a couple of days and doing nothing. im going out crabbing and fishing tomorrow for the first time in many years, its gunna be sweet. i rang firefly last night but she had gone to bed early with a headache i hope she's alright. I miss her.
on a happier note i get my drivers license back tomorrow
for the first time in 13 months ill be able to drive. yay! its gunna be sweet, hope in the ute and just friggin go. jump on the bike, nice.
well that's about it really, big shout out to jesus and firefly, miss you guys, its just no fun with out ya.
and if all else fails
just brake the law
yawl come back now ya hear
I will personally ice pick the spine of the next person who sends me an advertisement in the form of a comment. I make a plea to the bodies that control this site to deal with them before I do.
Today people I will lead you on a journey of discovery into the mystic realms of the Homo sapiens sapiens female.
Women are a strange and elusive creature. They can travel singularly or in herds of up to 20, but one thing is for certain, they are magnificent. We begin our journey by dividing women in to their specific groups, the Barbie dolls, the country girls, the sluts and the bitches.
Barbie dolls are simply little creatures, with little or no interest in most things that don’t require a credit card, the roam the shopping centers (I will not use the American term "mall" for the use of American words degrade us all)and main streets of our major citys. Commonly seen in groups of three they a small delicate animals much like the springbok of South Africa, with long skinny limbs and blonde hair and little or no curves. The main desire, the driving force behind this animals life is the simply task of buying cloths, shoes and other accessories of an expensive nature. their Feeding habits include salads and water but not much in the ways of meat, though technically omnivorous. they spend vast quantities of time exercising or at beauty salons. Largely fickle when it comes to men they tend to lean towards tall well-muscled types who where suits and drive BMW's. Unless married by an older man for a trophy wife or by a young rich boy, they usually reach middle age before settling for anyone who will have them. A warning to males everywhere, attracting one of these females can be hazardous to you wallet.
As we move away from the cities we come across another type of women. The country girl. The country girl is by far my favorite type, they have a sense of humor and morals which is hard to find in a lot of girls these days, usually travel alone but meet up with others of her kind at watering holes and gatherings (sometimes called B'N'S balls). Are more commonly found on the fringes of the populated coast regions were they can enjoy the benefits of living close to major centers without actually having to enter them, this has been know to change them somewhat. More comfortable at home with a good book or out talking with friends than in bars and nightclubs, these females enjoy a good time in the classical sense. There feeding habits are of the normal omnivorous variety; with equal amounts of meat and veg. they tend to go for down to earth guys who drive utes.
Thank you and stay tuned for more adventures into the world of women.
Well the local rugby club was having Christmas libations of a complimentary nature; there for I partook in mine own fair share (and perhaps a little more
) and proceeded to the state of inebriation at all speed. Once at my desired destination
Thought it prudent to join the rest of the gents for good conversation 
at the local public house. After a few hours of polite discussion I called the little women to tell her were I was and how I was feelling, fair maiden was unfortunately a guest of her parents hospitality and the call was not much appreciated. I then decided to clear my head and walk home for a good nights sleep; during the journey my mother’s driver prevailed upon me to accept the offer of a ride home. I graciously accepted and was on my merry way, upon arriving home I had the butler make me a snack and retired for the evening.
That’s the truth and I'm sticking to it.
I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
Can any body say I hate carpet cleaning; I know I can, because I do. With (as a dear friend of mine says) a firey firey passion. Imagine if you will a vague comment about three weeks ago that the carpets look dirty I might get them cleaned. Yesterday the mother turned up with a rented carpet cleaner and proceeded to tell me and the other renter that it is on hire till 4pm tomorrow I want those three rooms cleaned at least twice, oh and clean them out first.
Oh fuck.........these rooms look like 8 clepto hoarders have been storing there shit here for twenty years. I get told I have to do that then weed the garden paint the new gates and spray the fucking grass in the garden, while my mother sits in front of the TV (and yes she asked me to make her a coffee to boot) and complains of a headache, with the work I just got asked to do in the next 12 hours and she’s got the headache
Fuck off!
thank you for your time
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alas poor yorik, i new him well heratio. well its happened folks, now begins the summer of our malcontent made glorious by the holidays of insanity. though the noble hero doth seek to break this shackle called boredom that constricts the life giving happiness that once flourished on the plains of his mind.......he is fucked.
trying valiantly to resurrect the glory days of past experience before they slip forever into the inky blackness that revolves round precipice of consciousness. as he sits at his pc terminal of hope he realizes that all is not lost, for tho demons do seek to scavenge the fields of this mental battle with boredom, the champion called blog rises to the aid if the noble hero to quash boredom and forever expel it from the depths of the soul.
the hero and his champion stride side by side from the field of victory as boredom, broken and beaten decays on the grass plains of forever. never again to torment the young warrior until about three o'clock tomorrow when the vicious confrontation will again dominate the deep folds of the mind, body, amd soul.
thank you for your time.
well, i have seen humanities greatest genital wart, they are called "salesmen" and they are the devil. on a recent expedition to the local shopping centers (my mother took me Christmas shopping) i was quite happy in the beginning, to just roam the store in a meandering fashion looking at odds and ends, when at least three male sales persons asked if i was "ok" or "needed any help". yeah i need help, there are these asshole salesmen that keep bothering me.
so i went back to were my mother was standing, and asked her if she was served yet? to my disgust she replied "no not yet".
what? how is that possible? i've just been annoyed beyond belief by three people and ma hasn't see any one?.
well this made me more than a little mad as you can imagine, so i grabbed the nearest pimply faced git of a salesman and dragged to see what mums questions were, i stood there flabbergasted as this little shit proceeded to patronize my mother like she was some dumb fuck blonde bimbo from ballina. my mum is 47 and i think has lived long enough to not warrant some infant patronizing her. and this got me thinking, that was the 5th shop we'd been to that day and has i cast my mind back without my influence on the current salesmen we would usually wait about 20 mins in each shop. not because it was terrible interesting or because they have frogs that sing show tunes in e minor, for the simple fact that it takes about that long for my mum to get served or walk out in disgust. now im a reasonable man, and not particularly violent, but believe me when i say that i would have felt no remorse for braking this little shits legs of at the knee and stuffing them wet end first in to his nostrils. dude you sell cameras in harvey norman, your no donald trump or kerry packer, and i doubt whether many people will cry when you pass this world for the next. i hope you come back as a dung beetle so you spend you short pointless life eating shit instead of talking it.
and so ends the tyranny of the salesperson as i the masked avenger will not stop and until big headed salesmen are striped of there dignity and of most of the flesh from their bones.
because if all else fails somebody start a fight or something.
ever wake up after thirteen hours sleep feeling like you want to stab somthingin the eye with a pencil.........welcome to my world. yesterday was quite......a monumental fuck in the ear as a matter of fact, the army testing went ok to start with (got 96% on the general aptitude test) but balls it up on the tecnical testing. like a total idiot i forgot the one thing the guys told me, "if you get stuck on a question move on" of course i didnt and failed to finish half my cock somking pox ridden son of a whore math test and subsiqently missed out on the position i wanted (fitter armament) by 10%, ok, put on top of that jesus's overwelming anger at the fact i am dating firefly
, and the fact that i know have to wait twelve months until im allowed to take the tech test again. or i could just abandon my desire to be a fitter armament and pick another job from the list (wich admitedly is still quite long) and be happy with that and get on with my life. how about no scott, how about i do what i want, date who i want, and be who i want when i want and then just maybe i wont freak out a little and go on a homicidel rage and rome the streets tipping peoples bins over and howling at the moon like a homless man on heroin.
forgot to call firefly last night like i said i would and now feel extra crap oh well ill call her tonight to make up for it hopfuly ill be over my narcissistic self hatred with paranoid delusions of anarkey by that stage. such is life.
well i best go now, i feel better for being able to lance that hiddious pustule of anger and am now irrigating it with a saline solution of hope, because
shit happens, ya just gotta bug on ya gumboots and wade through it.
up shit creek without a paddle to soddamise sudam hussans goat with. i know i only just posted a blog but......fuck it my blog my rules, ill write when ever i feel like it and god smote the man says different with a big rock. i have an aptitude test tomorrow.....well later today as its past twelve at nite, and i cant frelling sleep ahhhh
. i got a lot of best wishes from firefly and me sisters boyfreind cliff, but am still shitting tacks.
but what dosent kill us can only make us stronger right, pigs left testical it will. who ever said that was a masocistic fucktard who probable hung great wights from his own genitals just for the sick demented pleasure of it. but im ranting so back to the problem at hand, the insomnia is driving me insane. i cant lay down for 5 minutes without getting up to do somthing. it really is a shit of a thing, so ill tell you all about my life.
like i said before, i am a uni student, wich is fine but its not what i want to do. but i have learned a lot here and have made a few good freinds, all of whom are cool people. i frist met paris earlier this year and she was cool, when she wasnt trying to beat 8 different colours of shit out of me in a playfull fasion, she and jesus were in my archyology class in first semester, jesus is cool. that boy got a veiw on life that just make me wet my pants with laughter every time he speeks. it wasnt till 2nd semester that i meet firefly, she was jesuses freind and she can make a homless man laugh at poverty, when ever we all get together its a fuckin hoot, i usualy harp on about the flaws in modern religion and jesus and firefly hole hartedly concer with me, paris is usaul worried about wich boys are cute and what type of jeans shes gunna bye next, she can really irritate me somtimes. just about destroyed my freindship with jesus at the end of sem 2 by promtly and falling in love with firefly, oh fuck, fuck it all,fuck it with an iron rod of wrongness, was at the time fully aware that jesus had a thing for firefly and felt a bit like a prick,
scartch that felt a lot like a prick.....a big prick......with stick and a orphan on my arm yelling "boy for sale".
so i did the only thing open to me...........i said fuck it and went after firefly and felt like more of a prick oh well, but it didnt go to badly, i got monumentaly druckand spilled my guts to jesus
. expecting a swift and immideate death i was surprised to find him ok with it, if only on the surface. but shit happens i supose, we just have to don our gumboots and wade through it when it does
despite people telling me different paris was ok with this (others though she had a thing for me) and took it apon herself without quam to stick her nose were, (if it were my idea of a perfect world)it should have removed from her face with a blunt piece of cutlery and feed to the nose hungy people of omacron perseei 8. with that in mind she stopped asking me and the world once agian began to turn in a satifactory dirction
im not mad and im not crazy, the doctors just say ive too many bad acid trips
just kidding.
so now i sit before you a sad tried shell of a man who has to get some sleep and would give up barry his left testical and a foot of lower intestine to see firefly and jesus and even paris, but mabye not barry for the last two, he is quite special to me. but not quite as special as his brother william,
with all of that of my chest and crouch i mite just leave you
and if you remmember nothing eles remember this.
dont forget your penis cream
im on holidays from university, which you would think is a good thing. but let me set you strait. it blows, it blows like 8th street hooker on crack. im currently 400kms for my girlfreind which is a kick in the croch from the great creator, and all freinds have gone home for the holidays to there own bordem or random drunkiness. the thought of either mass homicide or alcholism is the only thing that can sustain me through the long torturous days, that and calling the little woman almost every night. me mate jesus* (names have been changed to protect the inocent)lives on the coast, and i cant drive yet ( long story will be explained in blogs to come)so going to visit him is just fucked in the ear right there. i could catch a bus to see my freind paris* is brisbane but i really dont need that kind of agrevation right now, all we do is fight mostly. and its probly not the best time to see her any way.
so untill i get my drivers license 3 days before christmass my holidays a pretty fucked. the only shining light at the end of this hellish tunnel is the fact that i am alowed to go visit firefly* (the girlfreind)in january, horay for everything, and rum flavored manna fell from the heavans to the greatful masses. (sigh) that will be a good day, i anticipate lots of hot pig sex followed by sleep and amphibian sex if im lucky. but i do ramble so.
well thats about all i can write rite now ive got to get some sleep. so remember if all else fails
dont forget your penis cream. toddle pip